The Big Chop!

ok maybe. 

but not really.

if i claim this new-do to be a big chop millions of twa's (teenie weenie afro's) would have my neck.

i've finally taken the big plunge to chop off my hair. i have been threatening to do this for about 3 years now, ever since i decided to stop relaxing my hair. the result? meh. i mean, its not amazing, but i have to live with it. i need to figure out how to style and manage my hair and to keep up my sexy status! 

more than anything its a freeing feeling. 

i love having the hair off of my back but i will miss the swing if nothing else. many people question my 'blackness' if you will and even joke about the fact that i call myself the tokenblakchick. i think its funny! but yes i'm black, even african american and i just went natural. you can't be white and do that. right? 

its going to be a struggle.

its going to be irritating. 

its going to make my stronger. 

its going to make me more independent. 

and yes, i'm psyching myself up right now. 

kiss my ass.

New Favorite Pastime

Have you ever had hookah?

Its quite possibly the most enjoyable hobby that I have. If you you can call that a hobby I guess. 

Over the past few years I have discovered that hookah has many elements involved. You have to have the right amount of water, good tobacco, the right coals and of course the appropriate company.  Sometimes the company thing really doesn't come through. Sometimes you end up sitting on your couch, drinking an entire bottle of white wine while watching How I Met Your Mother. Its not so bad. Its actually like having a party in your face that you watch go by very very v-e-r-y slowly. 

The head rush that you get from the hookah is unlike anything else. It is a sure thing after enough hits and a lot of very deep breaths. Its like a guaranteed good time and I plan on indulging in it over and over again for the rest of my life. If nothing else I can collect hookahs and keep them on the mantle of my house.... when the market gets better and I am able to buy one!

happy new year 

I'm the luckiest fucking girl alive.

Dumb

He told me that he loved me so much that it's DUMB. ain't that about a bitch! I think it's funny, true and mutual no doubt, but definitly funny!I'm not sure it's what either of us had in mind buy it seems to working out as best as it can. I can't say I'm the luckiest broad in the hood...but I'm pretty damn close;-)!

motivation

candice always motivates me to do a slight update to my sad excuse of a blog. i have many things to say and too silly to actually put it down guess...

today... i went to target and as usual they fucked me out of my money. like everyone else in the world i go in there to get towels, a shredder, sponges, soap deodorant, toothpaste & a gift for the BF...

i come out with clothes, boots, food, a book and everything on my list...

i'm proud that i was even able to get everything that i had planned on getting without fail. my only short coming was the extra 150 that i spent in bullshit. but at least i have boots now right?

yeah right...b/c boots are that important to my life. and if they weren't before they are going to have to be now...

i'm going to go shred the shit out of something now....

I"m kinda bored with the morning

I should be getting ready to go to work. But I don't wanna. Here's the thing when u are the only boss and there really isn't anyone above u within the store u kinda make up the rules as u go. So today i am still laying in bed typing instead of getting in the shower preparing to apply the look for this week to my face. Omg I cannot wait to not have to wear make up for three hole days. I probably will anyway but the sheer thought of not HAVING TO makes me smile.

Ugh bakersfield....this will be interesting. BUT at the same time i don't have to go to work, I don't have to manage a store, i don't have to assist people. I'm pretty jazzed about that.

Obviously I'm no good at this.

Its not like I remember that I have this ting often. Its supposed to be a way for me to get my aggression out about my life but maybe I just don't have that much aggression...

Maybe be I am really happy and have no reason to complain about a damn thing. So instead why don't I celebrate what is good with my life.

More than likely....I'm happier than u. I'm not gloating i'm just stating a fact. i've reached a point where I do'nt sweat the small shit and enjoy the silly and the simplest things in life. Like....getting fat. Yup i like food and fuck yes I like drank. So unfortunately I've put on the pounds that make my momma go "WTF Mate"? I'm kinda sorta proud of it really. Its amazing that I've bee able to put on any weight being that I don't eat very often. But oh well...a couple for frozen Eating Right meals from Safeway will put me back in my rightful size of 0-4 as opposed to 4-6. i'm too short to be big man i swear. it aint right. Once I can't fit into my favorite pair of jeans we have a problem.

Other things.

I need a fucking roommate. i found this one girl who i thought would be perfect but she rather live in a shoe box for 200 less. Yes I understand that you just got a speeding ticket and u don't have a job yet. Yes it is probably better for the both of us since u aren't financially stable...but damn. U used to make cupcakes for a living. I mean I could have knocked 50 bucks off rent for a weekly batch of the frosted goodness. So now, wit the first steadily approaching and the economy going down the tubes, I will probably have to pay my rent in full.....yet again. ::sigh:: I don't even want to discuss what my balance is telling me. It sounds something like...'slit ur wrists girl, get hit by a car girl," and my favorite, "call in to work broke."

But I digress I was going to talk about the good things right? Like how my manager today put me up on game about something good that could possibly be coming my way. That definitely makes me smile. Its one thing to think that you are good at what you do and its another to have ur direct report who really doesn't talk to u much, notice it too. I still love my job. I still love my company, I am sad to see that my manager had to transfer for her own personal sanity. I hope she does well in her new endeavours. She is an amazing person. Working with her was quite possibly the best and most productive 3 months that I've ever had. I learned a lot and I'm pretty damn thankful for that. BUT i refuse to tell her b/c her head is big enough!

Jeez I'm hungry and that boy needs to really build that teleportation device so he can get to and from my house quicker. Plus it would make me the Gf to a millionaire. i mean dam that couldn't hurt could it?