maybe its harderest b/c the rock that i've alwaays had has eluded e. maybe its harder b/c i would rather not deal with things than deal with them. maybe its harder b/c i choose to forget the things that he wants me to remember.

I'm not one to live in regret or live in the past. I see the mistakes that I've made and instead of wallowing in them I try not to make them again. I don't bring them up, I don't dwell...I move on. I had a choice a long time ago, it was between living in the past or going day to day towards the present. I chose the latter. I've never regretted that dicision but at the same time, many people can't understand someone who makes a decision like that in the circumstances that i was in. 

That decision saved my life and those around me. I've always believed that and I will stick by that decision until proven that it was wrong.