I"m kinda bored with the morning

I should be getting ready to go to work. But I don't wanna. Here's the thing when u are the only boss and there really isn't anyone above u within the store u kinda make up the rules as u go. So today i am still laying in bed typing instead of getting in the shower preparing to apply the look for this week to my face. Omg I cannot wait to not have to wear make up for three hole days. I probably will anyway but the sheer thought of not HAVING TO makes me smile.

Ugh bakersfield....this will be interesting. BUT at the same time i don't have to go to work, I don't have to manage a store, i don't have to assist people. I'm pretty jazzed about that.

Obviously I'm no good at this.

Its not like I remember that I have this ting often. Its supposed to be a way for me to get my aggression out about my life but maybe I just don't have that much aggression...

Maybe be I am really happy and have no reason to complain about a damn thing. So instead why don't I celebrate what is good with my life.

More than likely....I'm happier than u. I'm not gloating i'm just stating a fact. i've reached a point where I do'nt sweat the small shit and enjoy the silly and the simplest things in life. Like....getting fat. Yup i like food and fuck yes I like drank. So unfortunately I've put on the pounds that make my momma go "WTF Mate"? I'm kinda sorta proud of it really. Its amazing that I've bee able to put on any weight being that I don't eat very often. But oh well...a couple for frozen Eating Right meals from Safeway will put me back in my rightful size of 0-4 as opposed to 4-6. i'm too short to be big man i swear. it aint right. Once I can't fit into my favorite pair of jeans we have a problem.

Other things.

I need a fucking roommate. i found this one girl who i thought would be perfect but she rather live in a shoe box for 200 less. Yes I understand that you just got a speeding ticket and u don't have a job yet. Yes it is probably better for the both of us since u aren't financially stable...but damn. U used to make cupcakes for a living. I mean I could have knocked 50 bucks off rent for a weekly batch of the frosted goodness. So now, wit the first steadily approaching and the economy going down the tubes, I will probably have to pay my rent in full.....yet again. ::sigh:: I don't even want to discuss what my balance is telling me. It sounds something like...'slit ur wrists girl, get hit by a car girl," and my favorite, "call in to work broke."

But I digress I was going to talk about the good things right? Like how my manager today put me up on game about something good that could possibly be coming my way. That definitely makes me smile. Its one thing to think that you are good at what you do and its another to have ur direct report who really doesn't talk to u much, notice it too. I still love my job. I still love my company, I am sad to see that my manager had to transfer for her own personal sanity. I hope she does well in her new endeavours. She is an amazing person. Working with her was quite possibly the best and most productive 3 months that I've ever had. I learned a lot and I'm pretty damn thankful for that. BUT i refuse to tell her b/c her head is big enough!

Jeez I'm hungry and that boy needs to really build that teleportation device so he can get to and from my house quicker. Plus it would make me the Gf to a millionaire. i mean dam that couldn't hurt could it?

Oh how things change

Things are definitely not the same as they were about i dunno six months ago/ New found singledom... THANK GOD! New found single living occupancy! New found life really. And much of this will be taken away from me shortly.

I have the this problem. Where I'm too good at things and cause me to excel professionally even if its to a place that I wasn't planning to be in. But hey, I finally get to join the rest of the humanrace in being a salaried employee. I finally get a 'real job' as they say. but I think some people would say that working in retail isn't necessarily a real job. Then I would tell them to eff of and attempt to do it them selves. B/c let me tell you it aint all sunshines and rainbows when you are working with people. People not only suck but they lie too. Its ppl like me that make them smile and turn fugly into fabulous everyday ;-)

I'm finally going to be the specialist of my own store... aka... Assistant Manager! Its very nice. yes I must move from my very comfy store that I help raise with my own two hands but you know what.... thats cool. Its not like I haven't been moved before. But I do want to come into the new position looking and feeling polished and perfect. i don't want to have to shank anyone one sight j/k! No but seriously I have to be excited. I may have to move unfortunately but hey its all apart of the job I guess. I do hate that I won't be able to see mister as much but thats cool. Its probably a good thing that we haven't made anything official then huh? Otherwise this could be a bad thing. The support that having a mister provides is wonderful but its not everything. 

THere isn't much else that is new in my life really I'm still in school and barely going. Its ridiculous really. especially since I'm going to have to really buckle down soon. My sister did have a baby. Gabriele Lamae Saldago. Pretty lil mixed baby. Peurto Rican & Black. She's going to be a knock out and I'm finally an auntie. I'm so excited I don't know what to do!

iphone price cut

You know I feel bad for the Hundreds of Thousands of ppl that bought the iphone initially. First of all...it didn't work. it wasn't even activated...DAMN! then once they got it all they did was complain and thats just sad.

the amount of technology that goes behind making a product such as the iphone is amazing. apple has come so far from those lil 3 by 5 inch screens that sis a couple of things. they are now the leading company in portable data. a market that they alone created and dominated .

never the less...i wnat one. but u know who wants one more than me.... my mother. its so bad that she wants me to get one before her so i can show her how to use it and to get the most use out of it. i find that mildly disturbing. i should be hitting her up for the money for an iphone. meanwhile she is begging me for one.. pretty awesome.

but my mom's hella cool i must admit. thanks to her i will be getting an iphone and afamily plan as well. which is great b/c personally i dont use a lot of my minutes and the majority of them are spent talking to my mom best friend and boyfriend.

congrats apple. u kick ass. when i grow up i want to be u. untill then i will by the iphone and feel like the coolest person EVER!

never have i thought i could be so scared for another in my life. i felt so helpless. i still do. things will change.

things get semi better but they rarely change.

maybe its harderest b/c the rock that i've alwaays had has eluded e. maybe its harder b/c i would rather not deal with things than deal with them. maybe its harder b/c i choose to forget the things that he wants me to remember.

I'm not one to live in regret or live in the past. I see the mistakes that I've made and instead of wallowing in them I try not to make them again. I don't bring them up, I don't dwell...I move on. I had a choice a long time ago, it was between living in the past or going day to day towards the present. I chose the latter. I've never regretted that dicision but at the same time, many people can't understand someone who makes a decision like that in the circumstances that i was in. 

That decision saved my life and those around me. I've always believed that and I will stick by that decision until proven that it was wrong.